Today I rode my bike to work. Now, anyone who knows me will instantly realise the gravity of this statement and will either think that I was held at gunpoint and made to do it with no other possible choice, or it’s a blatant lie. 7.2 miles each way. 14.4 miles round trip. 731 caloriesContinue reading “Biking for Fitness, not for fun, not yet.”
Tag Archives: #humour
The Eventless Event’s Tent
A few months ago Husband received a package through the post. It was an ebay purchase which is nothing out of the ordinary because he is unnaturally obsessed with ebay and addicted to buying random shit that no one needs, sometimes it doesn’t even get opened. This is because he enjoys the thrill of buyingContinue reading “The Eventless Event’s Tent”
Whiffy McWhiffison
I’ve been noticing over the last few months that I am periodically, particularly smelly. I know it’s summer and we have had some baking hot days but when the smell radiating from your rear end is anything but pleasant and the sheer force of your tit sweats are out of control it’s near impossible toContinue reading “Whiffy McWhiffison”
The Devil’s Bum Hole
I’m a fairly easy going type in most areas of my life. Friendships, my job, my role as a wife, housework, raising my babies, rules, and this also extends to the type of TV program I choose to watch on an evening after a hectic day. I use the term ‘choose to watch’ loosely, meaningContinue reading “The Devil’s Bum Hole”
My Husband. The Raving Loony with the Beard and a Hammer
We don’t have any neighbours for maybe half a mile or so in each direction. Just open fields and more wildlife than you can shake a stick at. So imagine my surprise when I found someone lurking around having what he told me was a leisurely stroll in the field next to our house. Me:Continue reading “My Husband. The Raving Loony with the Beard and a Hammer”
Jogging can jog on
Scenario: When you’ve been for a jog despite hating exercise with a passion. You get caught short and are forced to shit in a field except you were a minute too late and are now required to expel the contents of your pants into the nearby ditch before making a familiar phone call to yourContinue reading “Jogging can jog on”
The Joys of a Septic Tank
In our house it’s quite a regular occurrence that we might have a slow draining sink or a blocked toilet, and not because our shits are any bigger than anyone else’s but mainly because we live out in the sticks and have a revolting septic tank. Sidenote: For anyone unsure of what a septic tankContinue reading “The Joys of a Septic Tank”
How Weird is your Family?
Families can be strange. What might be normal to one troop could be an off the scale cringe fest to others. Some are open minded, some are not. Some share, some do not. Some over share to a point were the words ‘What the actual Fuck?’ occasionally tumble from their mouths as they proceed toContinue reading “How Weird is your Family?”
5 FFS Moments
1. When you are laden with shopping bags, sweating your tits off and running like crap to catch your bus. You know you have precisely 17 seconds before it leaves the bay in the central bus station and it is always as prompt as a shit after a vodka. There’s no one in the queueContinue reading “5 FFS Moments”
Proudest Moment- Bringing Life into the World and not dying.
This post is part of the #writingchallenge set by @mytalesfromthecrib. You can find her on Instagram Revisit your list of ‘30 reasons why I am amazing’. Choose the one that surprises you and that you are most proud of. Elaborate. 1.I birthed both my babies naturally and never died. This is the one I amContinue reading “Proudest Moment- Bringing Life into the World and not dying.”
Life by Eliza 