Category Archives: Life

My Husband. The Raving Loony with the Beard and a Hammer

We don’t have any neighbours for maybe half a mile or so in each direction.  Just open fields and more wildlife than you can shake a stick at.  So imagine my surprise when I found someone lurking around having what he told me was a leisurely stroll in the field next to our house.  Me:Continue reading “My Husband. The Raving Loony with the Beard and a Hammer”

Birthday Week

This week it was my birthday. I love birthdays.  A celebration of another year here on earth,  and I feel lucky.  It’s a privilege to get older that not everyone gets to experience.  And then there’s the birthday cake.  Not that I need an excuse to eat cake, after all it’s always someone’s birthday somewhereContinue reading “Birthday Week”

Jogging can jog on

Scenario: When you’ve been for a jog despite hating exercise with a passion.  You get caught short and are forced to shit in a field except you were a minute too late and are now required to expel the contents of your pants into the nearby ditch before making a familiar phone call to yourContinue reading “Jogging can jog on”

The Joys of a Septic Tank

In our house it’s quite a regular occurrence that we might have a slow draining sink or a blocked toilet, and not because our shits are any bigger than anyone else’s but mainly because we live out in the sticks and have a revolting septic tank. Sidenote: For anyone unsure of what a septic tankContinue reading “The Joys of a Septic Tank”

A Prod, a Poke and a Grope.

When I found a breast lump last year, time momentarily stood still. There were a few different ways this could pan out so before I let my imagination run wild I rang my doctors who were super helpful and surprisingly quick off the mark in securing me an appointment at the breast clinic within a fortnight.Continue reading “A Prod, a Poke and a Grope.”

Lash Lift Shit Show

It’s rare I treat myself to any kind of professional beauty treatments.  Partly because I do them at home to spare the expense but also because I have trust issues where my face is concerned.  If a beautician buggers up your face they might feel regret but at the end of the day it won’tContinue reading “Lash Lift Shit Show”

Do I Forgive You? Hmmm, yeah go on then.

Ever accepted an apology you never actually got?  For example, from your Husband that is a stubborn old goat and a massive bellend at times, especially when he does tricks like going to the pub after work with his mate, rings you for a lift and then after you’ve decided to stay for an hour,Continue reading “Do I Forgive You? Hmmm, yeah go on then.”

Vodka, Hot Tubs and Tits

Through my 20’s there was vodka, nights out, some rare outfit choices, dancing and it was messy, oh so messy. Through my 30’s there was exotic flavoured gin, sunny daytime drinking and it was still messy but not so late into the night, mainly because we’d start at 2pm instead of 9pm but still. I’veContinue reading “Vodka, Hot Tubs and Tits”

Dressing Gown, Crocs and a Nasty Surprise at the Petrol Station

I’m not very good at keeping my car full of petrol.  I just can’t seem to get to grips with making sure it never falls below half so that I never find myself in the unenviable situation of sweating out of my face in a mad panic wondering if I can make it to theContinue reading “Dressing Gown, Crocs and a Nasty Surprise at the Petrol Station”