‘Married At First Sight Australia’ Spoilers- Not really, don’t panic.

For those of you I haven’t completely alienated with talk of ‘bum juice’, homeless middle aged hookers and rogue nipples, welcome back.  For those that weren’t so keen, sorry not sorry.

I’m not sure if any of you watch Married at first sight Australia but I am basically obsessed.  If you don’t watch it and are about to switch me off, please don’t, just hang in there for a minute and hear me out.  Husband and I discovered it last year during the first lockdown and despite hating reality TV with a passion we were both instantly hooked. For those who have never seen it, it is basically 10 arranged marriages that sees the bride and groom meet each other for the first time on their wedding day.  They get matched together by a panel of relationship experts.  Most of them have larger than life personalities and some are just plain horrors which sees loads of fighting , disagreements and usually there’s a random one that tries to have affairs with anything that moves. 

Since we stumbled on it we have watched all the seasons which have been aired on channel 4 and are up to our necks this very moment in the current series. Which is fairly impressive considering that Husband will not watch anything with me unless it’s a film and it has to be over and finished, with an actual ending within a couple of hours.  He has no patience and dislikes any type of series because it goes on and on and on … and on.  So imagine my utter shock when I find him suggesting that maybe I’d like to watch ‘’that Australian program you like’’ 

 You are kidding no one Husband. 

 You know only too well what it’s called because you are also obsessed with it and have managed to watch nearly 3 whole series with me, attempting the entire time to look like you’re not really interested.  

I’m not going to pretend I’m not a bit cross with his new trick though, which is to Google all the couples and then try and fill me in on all the dramas, who is still together, who isn’t, who is in prison for the brutal murder of Ines.  That wasn’t a spoiler, don’t panic.  As far as i’m aware she is still walking around being a complete Fucking abomination and no one has actually wiped her out yet.  Frankly it’s beyond me how someone isn’t serving hard time for her grizzly slaying, in an Australian hell hole like Wentworth (or Prisoner Cell Block H  for those who remember it the first time round, or those who don’t remember it but remember being allowed to stay up and watch it with Great aunty May when they were 5 – totally inappropriate but they let you do anything in the 80s).

Is it just me that can’t wait for it to come on every night, devastated on a weekend when it’s not and I have to suffer withdrawal for 2 whole nights?  Is it just me that sits watching it from behind a cushion because the cringe factor is off the scale, and screaming at the contestants like they can hear me?  I’m actually finding it quite stressful this time round and as much as it’s all I can think about I’m not sure I have the staying power to watch to the end. 

Anyway I’ll wrap it up there because I missed last night’s episode, through no fault of my own so even though it’s going to be a car crash I’m off to watch it.  I’ve never been known for my resolve.

Toodle pip.